Saturday Check-in: critiques, writing schedules, and The Hobbit

photo credit Tanya Trofymchuk on Unsplash

Why hello there my lovely fellow story seekers!

It has now been just over two weeks since my last day working as a children’s bookseller at my local indie bookstore. I worked there over a year and adored it. I gave this job up in order to focus on moving onto a job that will allow me to move 1,000 miles away and have complete control over my schedule. But I was absolutely terrified. Why? Because change is scary and because this change involved testing the integrity of my newly developed self-discipline skills.

I know this about myself: I’m inclined towards laziness. And yet lack of productivity drives me crazy. Having a job outside my home was a perfect compromise and now that safety net was being removed. Could I create my own schedule and stick to it?

Two weeks into it and the answer is, surprisingly, yes.

But I can’t stop to congratulate myself now. I’ve got to keep my head down and power on.

I got my critiques back this week

Quick background info: I took every workshop available to me in undergrad and before that, I had a critique partner. The critique element of this MFA program is not unfamiliar to me. Personally, I’ve got a decently thick skin.

But critiques still kinda suck.

These in particular sucked because it reinforced everything I already knew was wrong with the chapter: which was, in fact, everything. (Okay, I’m being melodramatic.) After a year in this program, I’ve drafted the first two acts of my thesis novel, putting me at a pretty 75,000 words so far. My latest submission is the first chapter in act 3. An act 3 that I’m drawing a blank on.

My biggest storytelling fault right now? Creating meaningful tension that rolls from scene to scene to build to the climax.

The worst part about getting critiques is when you agree there’s something wrong, but you have no idea how to fix it.

How do I figure out act 3?

I’m seriously asking. I’ve got a stack of how-to writing books on my desk right now about plotting and I’m not convinced I’ll find an answer to my question in any of them.

My current plan of attack: phoning a friend. I’ve set up a Skype call with my old critique partner and we’re going to put our heads together over this issue I have with plotting out act 3.

I am a plotter. I enjoy plotting, but the ending of this novel has eluded me for years. This little issue of plot isn’t new; it’s been with me since inception of this idea five years ago.

How do you tackle tricky plot endings?

So many pages, time enough?

I’m contracted to only turn in 15 pages every month, but “with the expectation of 45.” Being a people-pleaser, it tore me up to only turn in 15 pages last month and I’m determined to hit that 45 for August.

What helps me with big deadlines like this is knowing what that looks like on a daily basis. So let’s bust out our calculators, shall we? Math actually CAN be useful, quelle surprise.

The deadline: 45 pages by August 30

45 pages = ~13,500 words

I only want to work Monday thru Friday. So that leaves 15 full days to work.

13,500 words/15 days = 900 words

900 words = ~3 pages

3 pages is a very manageable amount for me–so long as I know what I’m going to write. Perhaps this is being dramatic (plot twist: I am being dramatic), but I fear that the success of my 45-page goal hinges on this chat with my old critique partner because otherwise… (dun dun dunnnn)

Cross your fingers for me, fellow story seekers!

Blog recap

This week, I published six posts:

Currently Reading

If you follow me on Instagram, you know I had no business going to the library when my current tbr pile is literally too high to stack on my shelf. You hear that? I’m double-parking books now.

But I went to the library anyway.

Aaaaaand I may have gone to Half Price Books and picked up Three to Get Deadly, Four to Score, and The Heist by Janet Evanovich 👀

But I’m only actively reading a portion of my tbr stack. Here’s what I’m actively reading, the titles you’ll find on my currently reading shelf on Goodreads:

  • Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor (as astonishingly beautiful as Strange the Dreamer)
  • The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon (oof burglars are safe from this only because it’s too heavy to lift to smack them with)
  • Seven Tears into the Sea by Terri Farley (a reread from ages ago, a perfect end of summer read, especially if you like selkie stories)

What I finished this week

On a whim, I read Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt and I will most definitely write a post about it soon because it is incredibly well written and plotted and I can’t believe I didn’t like it much as a kid.

I also watched The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies and loved them. I’ve recently found myself a pretty decent Tolkien fan after reading The Hobbit for my Fantasy Classics class last semester and then Fellowship of the Ring on my own this summer.

^ my Tolkien fan friends when they found out I was reading The Hobbit and watching all the LotR movies

Tell me about your week!

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I’m Going to do a #Challenge to Overcome my Fear

It’s that time. It’s time for change. All my weight has settled into one slump and my bones are shrieking for the mercy of movement–any movement. I’m ready (am I? the doubtful mind gremlin asks) to shake things up.

I’ve tried challenges in the past. On this here blog, I did a 30 Day Restart Challenge leading up to my June 2018 residency. I only got about halfway through that one. Whoops.

But I’m ready to commit more to my writing. I’ve been dragging my feet for years now and I’m done. It’s time to pick up these weary bones and park myself in front of Perseverance and Discipline and wait for the blood drops to form on my forehead, if that’s what it takes.

Having taken a step back and looking at myself, I’ve been ridiculous these past few years. What’s stopping me? Why am I not taking this glorious opportunity I’ve been given to make writing my life? To live and breathe it? What’s stopping me?

Fear is very likely the top answer. Well, okay. That’s all well and good but I’m going to refer myself to one of my favorite passages from one of my favorite writing gurus:

Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting–and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are a part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still–your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

My favorite part of that entire passage is “You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote.”

Here’s to not giving fear a vote.

So, what will this challenge look like? After watching Cynthia Koo’s How to Start (And Finish!) Your Very Own 365 Day Project, here’s what I’ve decided.

Starting February 1, 2019, I will write everyday for a year.

I hesitated saying a year. Why not just start with 30 days or 100 days?

But then I thought about it: what’s a year in the career of a writer? And if I can’t write every day for a year, that doesn’t exactly bode well for my aforementioned career.

Also, I feel like I’ve fallen so out of touch with my writing these past few years since I started college, so I want to get to know my writing again.

So with that, here it is: with this challenge, I want to

  • overcome my creative fears
  • become more disciplined
  • up my productivity
  • rediscover my process

Thus begins my #WatchJeanWrite365 Challenge